Something is happening in my training to run a marathon this October. Something is shifting deep inside my chest and it’s not a funny bone. Not yet anyway.

When I first started running 4 months ago alongside Jordan, my partner in sneakers and sweats, I’d find myself angry, overreacting to small injustices -he was running ahead, he didn’t look to see if cars or bikes were coming at roundabouts, he would run longer than the time on the stop watch, he would, he would, he would, he would. I would fume over these small things asking him, “do you know how hard this is for me?”  while sometimes shaking with anger and sweat, beet red in the face, huffing my way up a tiny hill like it was Everest and I was going sans oxygen.  And that was for running only 2-4 minutes at time, with long walk breaks in between!

I’d chide him on not giving people room on the sidewalk when we ran by , I’d feel upset when he’d zig zag and make people go one way then the other and especially if they were carrying a coffee and it was early morning (”they could spill it on themselves! they’re barely awake!”). I was mad when he wouldn’t tell me which way he was turning before he’d turn or when he was going to run out into the street to let an unruly dog and his owner have the sidewalk in peace. Sometimes, I’d even be furious. And if I didn’t perceive these things as slights, well, then I would ruminate on other things. That potential job didn’t call, this person has never treated me well, this person expects the moon, what are we thinking no National Housing Strategy and why do we still have a government we don’t trust? All these orbiting angers and pains, all mixed in with the consistent belief that there was no way I could do this thing, -look at me- I couldn’t even last 2 minutes without becoming medusa.

What an unexpected experience to run right up against this ridgidity in myself, this perfectionist, this negative nag, this controlling-take-myself-so-seriously-I-almost-turn-to-stone, this ego that is more self-monitoring and cruel than a 13 year old who hates you.  I thought in order to have a plump ego you needed to think of yourself as awesome, not terrible, but turns out it works both ways, (why oh why didn’t I choose to think I was awesome all those years back??)

The good news is training for this marathon is making me not only run up against this wall of rigidity, but to run it down, to coax its iron gates just enough to see that maybe 10 minutes of running is possible, maybe 12, maybe 15…and maybe Jordan isn’t one big jerky wack for running ahead, crossing the street without me,  accidentally stepping on someone’s garden and zigzagging without apology.  Maybe I”m the jerky wack for noticing.

So what is that? What is that never ending source of criticism and barf? Well, the more I run, the closer I come to uncovering what it is. I suspect fear. But as I hold my tongue and judgements, something else is happening, I can feel my lungs getting stronger, growing bigger. It’s weird. The more my lungs expand the more my mind does too. That steeltrap of crap is starting to open up. And it’s not all bad in there. I’ve even caught myself laughing out loud thinking about a funny thing a friend did while running up a hill. Up a hill.

Startling, I know.

Even more startling is the fact that I have lived with these rigid, inflexible, iron steel beliefs, on the inside of my lungs and major organs for close to 20 years. All or nothing. You can’t do that. That’s not for you. That’s what other people do. You need to be good at something in order to do it. Who do you think you are. You’re not good enough. Only athletes do that. You look stupid. People think you look stupid. You are stupid. You will never make it. Be happy with what you’ve got. Don’t try for more. Do not try for more. Who do you think you are? You live in a fantasy world.

Yup, I sure do, but not a very nice one. Where are the care bears anyway?

Sheesh.

All those hits of anger at Jordan, all those moments of rage at “being left” or “being unable”, all of them feel like I’m knocking right into the wall. Sometimes head first  -blind spitting fury that it’s there- then peace. If I can keep putting one foot in front of the other, then I can keep softly taking a concrete block at a time from the wall. And maybe just maybe in Greece I can run through it. Or at least run through part of it.

And above all else:  give it a good care bear stare.

You can support our journey here.

Alright, with all the baking talk I fear you may think I have ditched Jordan and I’s Fundraising and training goals and pulled up a permanent seat at the oven.

While it’s true I’m mowing down a lot of goodies lately it is also true that I’m still keeping up the running.

And am starting to look forward to running longer periods of time….maybe even the marathon we plan on running in October.

We start the 8-minute trials this week, running for eight, walking one minute, repeat six times.

But today was the last of our run for 7-minutes, walk for 2, six times. Here are a few pictures from our jog at lunch.

(Notice Jordan has a very stylin’ runner’s jacket and new sneakers. Since getting the new sneakers his right hip feels less like 90 years old and more like 50. But when it’s this gorgeous outside a 50 year old hip feels a lot like 10).

Keeping up with Jordan is tough.

Not only are Jordan’s legs twice the length of mine but his lungs seem like huge clean vessels of sparkling pink, just pumping away,  shooting oxygen to every cell of his lean, tall body. While training together sometimes I feel like  a broken-down cranky donkey running next to a stallion, a  young buck ready to burst forward with so much speed that he doesn’t even need wings to become a pegasus. He already is.

And that’s with a 15 year old pair of sneakers.

Which is both dumb and incredible.

Now don’t get me wrong, Jordan is working hard, he’s sweating just as much as me, (and he’s getting new sneakers when he gets paid). The difference is, he’s enjoying himself right from the get-go. And after a few months of walk/jogging, I’m just starting to experience the idea of enjoying myself  and that’s only in moments and definitely not every time I run.

But holy holy when I think I have one of those moments.  Something great happens. My mind recedes back into my skin and my skin feels like it could move forever.  I hope to get enough of those moments to motivate me to keep puttering along. 42 km is a long way.

Here’s a few more things that keep us going:

We’ve raised $2562.28 so far!

Yay!

And we’re at 19% of raising our goal of $13 000 for Arthritis Research and the Marathon in Athens, Greece!

Woohoo!

And we get to see dogs while we run.  And the ocean and the mountains and… and you can come along with me. Here’s a little video  taken by Jordan while I’m catching my breath during a run.

 

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Well, ok, not just like the Blair Witch Project…but close.

Jordan and I shot some video of us running while running.  (That’s the Blair Witch connection). Mainly to spice up my blog post about the daily progression (and regression, trust me) of starting a new habit, one that involves a 42km commitment, the boot heel of philosophy, and an incredible cause.

We’re training as a part of the BC/Yukon Joints in Motion Team to run a marathon in Athens, Greece on October 31, 2010 for Arthritis…and for ourselves.

Because we’re  both noticing that after a good training run (one that involves walking every 5 or 8 minutes) we feel good about things and things feel possible again.

And that’s really what we’re running for: possibility.

The possibilities around arthritis research and treatments. The possibility that just maybe we’ll cross that finish line even though we have yet to cross the 10 km mark. And heck, even the possibility of having some fun while pushing ourselves along.

So join us on a jog and find out who we’re running for as we puff along in the beautiful kits beach area.

And thanks for your support.

 

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Well it is here. The year 2010.

And I know for most Canadians this means the Olympics, the beginning of a new decade, and the uncanny fact that what we wore in the 90’s just may be better the second time around.

And for Jordan and I, 2010 means the year WE RUN A MARATHON.

I use capitals for good reason.

You’d think we’d be more likely to capitalize the words “we’re getting married” but that has become no big whoop in comparison to what is all-too-soon becoming a reality of taking our non-running selves and transforming them into people who can at least crawl over the 42 km finish line. And I use the word “crawl” very generously, because I’m sure I’ll be crying, barfing and begging to be carried as well.

Not to sound too grim, I am trying to be funny, but because we have now rolled into the year in which we will run a marathon, it has become more real. More real than The Situation getting slapped in the face on Jersey Shore.  And more real than the bills that poke their heads out of our mailbox once a month.

And like watching that show and paying for the internet, we’re doing this.

We are doing this thing.

This mara…

This marath…

THIS MARATHON.

And to start the New Year off with a kazam!  Here is our latest fundraising effort to meet our $13 000 pledge for Arthritis. We’re hoping to get dancing again on a beach really soon!

Thank you for watching and for supporting us on our journey… ohh!

Support Our Journey. mov

 

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It’s a tough sell to get up two hours early when it’s pitch black outside and icy.  But every time we do it, we see people in full regalia spandex cheerfully puffing along with dogs, with headphones or  just with their sweet sweet breath making clouds of exhaust in front of them.

And as the saying goes, if they can do it, so can we.

What the heck am I talking about? Well, Jordan and I are training for a marathon.

We are raising cashola for arthritis research as a part of the BC/Yukon Joints in Motion team. We plan on running 42k Halloween 2010 in Greece. (You’d think that would be enough motivation right there to get off the couch. Well, it was enough motivation in August!) Now that it’s a bit more bleak outside, it’s way easier to think of Greece while dreaming…in bed…

So, the update:  right now we’re three months into lifting our heavy butts off the couch and jogging 7km 3x’s a week. We’ve also raised a brand new total of $1747.28!!! Woohoo!

Only $11 252.72 and 35 km to go! haha.

I know at some point it’s going to get easier. I’m really looking forward to that runner’s high!

But  before I make it all sound tough, there have been a few break-through moments. I’m going to put my journalistic prowess at work and grill Jordan, my- better-running-half, on the positives he’s noticed so far.

 

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A little foreboding took place in the last post about the marathon training and for good reason.

We have to sadly move on from our running-five-minutes-walking-one comfy perch of jogging-ness.  It’s a hard fall to running 7-minutes-walking-two-minute trials. The one minute between running 5-minutes felt infinitely longer than the 2-minutes between the seven minute trials. I have no idea why.

Well, maybe, I do: we’ve gotten a bit lazy.

We’re sorta stalled in our fundraising and training attempts, getting caught up in the busyness of life and jobs, and so running feels like a chore right now rather than an adventure.

I keep forgetting why we are doing this: arthritis research, family members who have pushed themselves through way worse, to lead and live better lives. And I think more about the extra hour of sleep, the cold rain outside and how incredibly far it feels to only be able to run 5 km  poorly rather than 42 km well (and to be sitting around $1600 of fundraising money in comparison to the $13 000 we need).

although $1600 is darn good amount.

and how amazing it will feel to do something I honestly believed I couldn’t.

and how cool would it be to run the original marathon…in Greece.

and how lovely it is to run with the person I’m going to marry and the person whom I’ll share tougher roads than this with.

and the money that will be raised going to research for something that affects 4.5 million Canadians and counting…

alright, on Monday I’m going to tackle those 7-minute-run-2-minute-walk trials like I’m the cover art for Meatloaf’s bat outta hell.

Cover art: Meatloaf Bat Out of Hell; copied from Image Shack, online media hosting: http://imageshack.us/

and I’ll make sure to tell you about it.

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted an update about the marathon training.

I am especially self conscious of the fact that the last post only has images of both Jordan and I sleeping so it may come across that we’re not running at all.  (haha).

Well, we are running, sorta.

In our training to build a 10-km base (to be able to run 10-km without needing to stop, pant, or barf), we finally made it to the five-minute-running-one-minute-walking level and then to our dismay we had to move on.

Here’s two video excerpts of us happily running our 5 minute stints and notice, we’re not even sad about the late-fall raininess. No, we’re stoked we can actually run the five minutes while discussing our favourite Kurt Russell movies (The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China) but I haven’t seen them all yet, so like the 5-minute time cap, those picks could change.

 

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Jordan and I have been training for the 42 km Joints-in-Motion marathon to be run in Athens, Greece, October 2010, for a little over 2 months now and we are going s-l-o-w-l-y.

I said I’d post an update a week, and although I’m not happy to report this, we’ve come across what we are calling a plateau.

diagram of a plateau

Let’s just say that we’ve  been running 4 minutes, walking 2 minutes, 7x’s-in-a-row for the past two weeks. We need to be able to do it 9x’s-in-a-row before we move onto bigger strides: 5 minutes running, 1 minute walking.

We haven’t been hitting 9x’s not only because we are lazy and afraid to move on…(well, maybe a little because we are lazy and afraid to move on).

But the thing is, you can run a fair distance in 30 minutes and with all the walking in between you need to get up early to fit it all in.

Sleeping in our running clothes is one solution-

laurie asleep in sneakers

but ignoring the alarm clock can still be a problem…

 

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We all do it.

Sweating. And working for money.

Combining the two is the genius of every athlete, NHL star, aerobics instructor (including those yogis who do the really hot yoga, otherwise known as bikram in the 40-degree heat) and a whole plethora of people that make videos of 20-somethings’ writhing bodies for….Much Music.  (Move over Madge, Lady Gaga is in town!)

So, I decided to throw my headband in the ring and sweat for money too.

By running for arthritis.

Definitely not as sexy or creepy as the aforementioned entities, but maybe more satisfying.

Maybe.

I’ve signed with a Joints in Motions Team and have made my own personal pledge to help raise

$13 000 in a year’s time.

And on Halloween 2010, I will run 42 kilometres in Athens, Greece.  The original marathon.

I will cry, probably barf and cry some more, as like many participants I’ll go from thinking “this is impossible” to “holy crap, I did it, now get me a wheelchair”.

So the plan here is to post a weekly update on what it’s like to go from rivaling a couch-sloth (a new breed of human not yet discovered because they never leave their apartment) to someone that is agile, flexible and able to run 42 kilometres within 5 hours.

What amazes me is that lots and lots of people do this.

People with arthritis.

People over 65.

Terri Fox. Rick Hansen.

All the people that run every year for Cancer, HIV/AIDS, MS, Lupus. All the people that bike, skateboard, wheel, row, climb-

All the people that kneel down and lace up sneakers to take a jog through their neighbourhood and cities, before work and after the baby is in bed.

Wow. I want to be a part of that.

I’m currently in love with runners. Their spirit and audacity. Those ridiculous, high-functioning shorts, the precision by which they can pass by you on a sidewalk as they keep up their own rhythm; and of course, all that sweat for all of those causes.

A few final notes:

Fundraising is tricky & challenging and if you like reading about my (and Jordan’s) progress and want to donate a toonie, a fiver or anything that’ll make us run bowing down to  you for an entire week, you can click here.

I really look forward to this.  Thank you so much for reading.

Bonuses:

1. Getting to train in Vancouver (where more beautiful? Maaaybe Greece.)

2. Getting to see lots of dogs in the morning.

I got this photo from www.bullybuddies.net/a pitbull rescue & adopt website in BC

3. Getting to spend some time with Jordan